i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize