I wish you could order shots online.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize