"it" just moved
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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