omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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