I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize