he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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