I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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