Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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