I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize