you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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