Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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