I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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