i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize