Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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