yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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