Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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