I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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