Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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