I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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