i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The beers last night were like the tears from god
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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