the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize