1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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