I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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