I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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