HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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