Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize