After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
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Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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