it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
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I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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