so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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