so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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