Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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