last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize