Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize