My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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