my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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