I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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