My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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