You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize