Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My vagina is officially offended.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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