she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize