What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize