She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize