well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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