hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize