you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize