he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize