I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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