I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize