I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Success! We fucked roommates!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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