He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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