it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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